Monday, March 12, 2012

New friends? Yes, please!

One of the cons of moving to a new city is you don’t know anyone, or just a few people.

When we first got here, we only knew a few people (consisting of my brother and his wife, and some good friends from hubby’s childhood). At first, it was all great, you got together a few times... then life starts happening, we got busy, they got busy. The people we know have other friends and we can’t expect them to hang out with us exclusively. Specially because we can’t include our three babies all the time, some activities are not kid friendly at all, and fair enough too. We didn’t expect people to change their lifestyle to suit us. So, suddenly we realised it was time to get to know new people, and make new friendships.

That’s is so much easier said than done. It’s so hard to get out of our comfort zone and start from scratch again, specially when it comes down to talking to people you never did before. I don’t know about you, but I am not the kind of person who can just walk into a room and start chatting about the weather and such, unlike my hubby who can. So we balance each other nicely that way.

We have been here for 5 months now (time flies I tell ya!) and here are my findings. I have done this moving thing a few times so I want to share what I learnt:

· Make an effort. You are the new kid on the block, so you have to find where you fit. Join in something. Church, a craft group, a sports team. Since we found a church, things have been much better in the social department

· Don’t settle for something that doesn’t suit you or your family lifestyle. We all have many kinds of different friends, and we do different activities with different people. It’s ok to join in activities that you are not that into, but mostly, try and hang out with a group that is similar to you. (I have learnt this as we only knew couples with no children, it doesn’t always work – not the friendship part, but just the ‘hanging out’ part – we still love those friends and hang out with them sometimes). But also, it's ok to find people who love doiung what you do. Chances are, you will get to spend a lot of time together!

· Don’t expect people to re-arrange their lives to fit yours. Remember, people already had their life before you moved. So they already have established routines/activities they like to do. If you have that in common, great! If not, it’s ok!

· Be patient. It takes time to form friendships. Be persistent, go the extra mile, invite people over to your house. Get comfortable with people you like. They can become people you love!

· And lastly, don’t forget your old friends. We have met some incredible people in our moves and they are always gonna be special to us. Catch up with them, let them know what it’s new, be there for them despite distance.

And in the spirit of new friends, I am linking up to

I really need to shake the dust off this blog and new friends will make it perfect! Don’t be shy, say hi :)


  1. I was super scared when I moved here to Austin 2 years ago. But I have made new friends and still talk with my old friends back in Louisiana a lot.
    Great tips!
    P.S. come by my blog...I have a little something for you :)

  2. So I came across your blog simply because I am trawling for new friends! You have some great tips here! I'm reading a great book at the moment called MWF seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche. The woman who wrote it set out on a year long journey to find friends in her new home 'town' Chicago via various methods. I recommend it simply as an interesting read but also informative with regards to seeking friends.
    Anyway we arrived in Perth from NZ in August. I'm in Wattle Grove and have not 3 but 4 kids... so I at least get that aspect of your life! Feel free to drop me a note.