Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The resurrection of the blog

Well, it's me again, trying to resurrect my blog...... again!
Every once in a while I have the urge to write my thoughts and feelings, but have not had the courage to commit to writing a blog again because I know I will get busy and I will be likely to stop... again.
But here I am and this is what has been going though my head and my life lately. I have a lot on my mind so I am just gonna write. And I better let you know, in case you are looking for clever writing or words of inspiration, I am sorry to disappoint. I am just going to write and post this, and that's usually my writing style. It might not make sense sometimes, other times I must just say a lot on a lot of different subjects in one single post. It's just a warning and I do hope you stick around.
So where to begin? Just a brief catch up on how things are going in our corner of the world.... the weather has been very hot which means lots of swimming. We are really blessed to live very close to the beach, so we enjoy it whenever we can. Summer has officially ended and we are in the middle of a heat wave - it's supposed to be 40 degrees on Sunday (102F). As a family, this is the hotter summer we experienced, moving to Australia we knew the weather was a lot hotter than what we are used to, and I must say we are coping quite well.
I am still working full time but this time, I am mostly enjoying it (apart from being too tired in the evenings). Hubby is back at work but still deciding what is best for us as a family after being off work for so long (due to spinal surgery). Kids have been busy with school. Elijah has started school full time and that means my baby is finally a 'big boy'. Where has time gone?
I have been so caught up with the busyness of life and sometimes it's so hard to appreciate moments, specially when I am so tired and grumpy.
At lunch time yesterday, I found myself reading a blog about a mom and her little girl drowned. The grief, sorrow that come to her and her family and it really brought tears to my eyes as I read her journey through her beautiful writing.
I really felt so blessed to have my kids being healthy and happy, even if they drive me crazy sometimes. It made me vow to myself that I will try really had not to let the 'green eyed mummy monster' visit us anymore. I love my kids with all my heart and I want them to remember me as being a good and patient mum, and not being impatient and intolerant. It's so easy to get carried away and get wrapped up in our own moment, it's hard to decide which battles to fight instead of fighting them all and die from exhaustion and guilt. Kids always seem to quickly forget our wrong doings and forgive us and love us no matter what and that's amazing.
Being a parent is tough. Because we love our kids so much but sometimes other things get the best of us. Tiredness, grumpiness, moodiness - you name it. But think about it, we are so blessed to be able to kiss our munchkins good night even if we are having a bad day. Some parents don't get to do that anymore. And it is so sad. I feel so sad for that mum. I felt her raw emotions and prayed and prayed that I NEVER get to feel them.
So the lesson learned here was very strong and very real. I will love my little ones because they grow up very fast and soon I will be missing the times they were little. I will renew my vows to myself every time I feel like green eyed mummy wants to come around. I never want to see that lady again.