Blood Test results

I got my thyroglobulin blood test result.

And it's official:

NO CANCER!

I was worried about it, I must admit. Heck, I have a PHD in worry studies! But you know what? The more we go through situations, the more I realise that worrying does nothing. It does not make anything better, it does not make me have any control over what I am worrying about. All is does, is make me stressed about possible scenarios that didn't even happen yet, how silly is that?

Blah, I really need to work in not worrying.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

Matthew 6:25-27

I seriously love that verse. It's so true, worrying has no benefits whatsoever.

Everytime I worry, I am wasting energy. I really need to concentrate in distracting myself with good things when I start to worry.

What do you do when you start to worry?

I am following a whole heap of people. Will you follow me in my journey too?

The adventure has begun!

The weekend started on a high.

It was friday night and I was tired, we were running late home, so we got some fish and chips and headed to the farm. Got home, ignored the mess (big time!) and went to check the voice mail on the phone. Message one:

"Hi, this is lady from Australian Consulate. I am just ringing to let you know the doctors gave me the go ahead and I will be processing Roberta's residency on Monday and send it by courier on Monday. Have a good weekend"

ARE YOU FLIPPING SERIOUS?

All the mess did not bother me anymore. I started to scream because I was so happy! I did the happy dance. The kids looked at me funny. But I didn't care! God is truly faithful! We have encountered so may obstacles along the way to get to this point. We even looked into changing our flights. We spent many hours worrying about it, and all was in vain. He is faithful. He is ahead of us in this move, I have no doubts at all - so why did I even worry? We still have twenty one days spare! How cool is that? This is such a miracle in itself - if you have been reading my blog, you know all the hurdles we have been through! We're so happy, there is a huge weight off our shoulders. No more wondering about it, no more stress. God is so good. I can officially say now that I am an Australian Resident!

On another note, we moved out of the farm house this weekend.

Saturday morning was a mission. Jason got our garage sale organised and I stayed at home with the kiddies. It was raining and super cold outside. We had no couch to sit on, no TV, no computer because the phone had already been disconnected. I was trying to clean but I gave up because the kids were cutting paper and trying to entertain themselves. So we started to jump on the mattress and use it as a trampoline. It was fun. We did get bored, it was a long morning, but we survived.

Then we had a family farewell dinner for Jason.

On Sunday after church we went to see my sister and my spotty niece Georgia (the bubba has chicken pox, she is so cute all spotty, haha)

I cannot believe how fast this year is going by. My birthday is next saturday, I will be turning 29. Pretty scary. We have been so busy since deciding we were moving to Australia, no time to smell the flowers. I find that sometimes, we just have to do what we have to do. We're exhausted, busy - but it will all be worth it in the end. God has been ahead of us throughout the whole process and we're excited to see what he has in store for us.

continuing my list, this monday, this is what I am grateful for: 11. my God, who is faithful12. Jason's parents, who opened their doors for us, despite a very small house 13. warmth! it has been a cold week.14. Our friends, we have been busy trying to say goodbye to everyone15. work - yes, I am tired but God knows why I need to work until I go and he has given me this job!16. Wiggles dvds - Elijah loves them and when he starts singing in the car it really warms my heart.17. Wheat bags - them make Bella's tummy better.18. Allyah's sense of humour, she is starting to develop her own and she can be quite funny.19. the mess - means we're getting things done20. Coffee :)

Stream of Consciousness

Stream of Consciousness posts = I just write whatever comes to my mind, no thinking, no editing, just me and my brains! So excuse me if I ramble or what I am saying does not make sense.

It's a very cold and rainy thursday here in New Zealand and today I really struggled to get out of bed. My bed was so warm and the house was so cold. So I lit the fire and my problems were all gone, in no time we had a warm toasty house. I actually like winter, I just don't like being cold.

Last night we packed some more boxes. That was really the last thing I wanted to do, I was just so tired and American Idol was on, and I really wanted to watch it. But anyways, I had to get up and start because Jason was nagging me. So up I get up and start. And I started to get really discouraged by the mess - my friends, I must say, it's huge. So I packed my kitchen, my groceries, pout them into boxes while Jason sorted out his paper work and danced around to Americal Idol making me laugh. That boy annoys the heck out of me sometimes, but I do love him. He makes me laugh all the time (that is, when he is not, ahem, annoying me!). I will certainly miss him a lot when he goes to Aussie next week! We will be separated for three weeks, which I know is not much, but it is three weeks too long.

Have I mentioned that we (the kids and I) have a seven hours wait in Melbourne airport? Seriously, I am not joking. S E V E N H O U R S with three kids in an airport. Have any of you ever had to do anything like this? Picture this: Our flight leaves New Zealand at 8am (I think) which means we will need to be at the airport at six. Ok. Then we fly for three hours and then wait for SEVEN until our next flight. I said seven right? Yep. Three kids, plus luggage for four as I will have to check in again for our domestic flight, plus two booster carseats. Are you picturing this in your mind? Are you feeling awfully sorry for me? I would love tips and ideas to keep busy children entertained and to keep me sane. So please, if you have done anything like this, share, oh please!!! Share your tips with me.

Tonight is our last night at our house. It's not really looking like our house anymore. Our stuff is all gone. A new chapter of our lives is about to start and all I can say is: Bring it on!

That's all ♥

A time waster

Walk with Him Wednesday

I have been struggling with what I was going to write about. You see, it's "Walk with Him Wednesday" and I really wanted to write about something that I find important, but must confess, I am not good at it sometimes. Using my life as a ministry to others. Seriusly, it is a whole lot easier said than done. I think most people can relate when I say that. Every morning when I wake up, the intentions are good. So I get up, have my shower, get the kids up. From there on, it's rush time. By the time we leave the house, we are all flustered and grumpy. Not a good start. Drop the kids at the bus stop, Elijah at daycare and head to work. 'Concentrate now' The phone starts ringing and the word day starts. By the tenth phone call, I start to voice my frustrations. 'Some people should not own computers' (I work at a software development company, we get a lot of calls from people with software problems) By the twentieth phone call, maybe one or more clients heard my frustration in my tone of voice. My work colleagues just think it's normal, after all, we all have a whinge about frustrating phone calls or people who are not so computer savvy. So to them, I am one of the bunch. But when I think about it, what am I showing my work colleagues? I am probably not setting the right example of what Jesus would do if He was walking in my shoes. Ok, I know I am human, but I know better. But when people are rude to me, it's hard to turn the other cheek. When people start to backtab, sometimes it's hard not to give my two cents worth. We're all buried in a society where you need to be 'in' in order to fit. Don't get me wrong. I really do not to go out of my way to be 'in'. What I am saying is, sometimes we get caught up in a moment and when we realise, it's too late, you already criticised the boss or voiced your frustration out loud. I do want to be in, in HIS crowd. I don't really care if people think I am weird because I don't drink, or because I don't say anything when gossip is going around. But like I already mention in this blog, sometimes I fail miserably. People often judge christians, saying we are all hypocrites. The news is, we are! Everyday we are reminded how we can't measure up at all. And that's the beauty of christianity. If we were all perfect, we would not need Him at all. And His grace is given to us, everyday we fail, yet, He loves us, He forgives us, every single day. The challenge is to keep focus and pray. Pray that the Holy Spirit will show me ways of using my life to show Jesus to other. I don't want to fit in. I only want to fit in in His crowd.

An update on our big move and prayer requests

Oh boy it's getting close now.

Hubby leaves in a week to go to Australia - there is not turning back (not that we would turn back, but you know what I mean!) This weekend, we will move out of the farm house and move in to Jason's mum and dad. Jason will only be there for half week, but the kids and I stay there until the 21st June * if everything goes according to plan *.

Immigration is still stuck for me, but Jason rang them on Monday and the lady promised she would have it all done by the time we go, as long as the results of my blood tests come back fine. I have to say that I am feeling a bit anxious when it comes to those results. When you get cancer - it's scary! When you have surgery - it's awful. When you are given a great prognosis after surgery and treatment - it's wonderful! For some reason, since my last treatment, 2 years ago, I never had a thyroglobulin test done. That test will tell if there is still an active tumor. And that's the test I am waiting results on. If you have a spare thirty seconds in your day today, please say a little prayer for me.

Today I am going to pack our bags. I bought three big suitcases for $25, I am the queen of the bargains, I must say I was really happy with my find! So I am putting all our clothes in the suitcases so Jason can take the draws away to be sold in our garage sale. So from now on, we will be literally be living out of suitcases!

It seems like everything is finally coming together for us. God has been with us all along the way, with every difficulty, he provided a solution for us.

It's quite scary going to a new place where you don't know anyone. And moving to Australia was not an easy decision as we're leaving family and friends behind, but Jason and I both feel God has a lot more in store for us than just a job and a nice house and that is exciting!

This is a photo of Mount Gambier, South Australia, where we are heading to:


Now for the prayer requests:

1. Isabella is home sick from school today, hence I am at home from work too. She has been having extreme tummy aches, we ended up in hospital last night - we're pretty sure the water we are drinking is causing the pains, as Elijah also had the same a couple of weeks ago. I am glad we're moving, meanwhile we're drinking bottled water.

2. Jason's mum, Carolyn - she has been feeling weird lately, with her heart racing and really high blood pressure. She collapsed on Sunday but she did not tell me! She has been to the doctor and they are running tests on her, but today she is off work again as she is not feeling right, to be honest, I am worried about her - so please pray for Carol!

3. My immigration stuff and my blood test results.

1000 Gifts

I have been reading a lot lately and thinking a lot lately. I don't know why but I have been feeling God's presence with me all the time, and I am wondering "why me?".

Why me?

I am such a busy lady, I haven't been reading my Bible, I haven't been the greatest mum or wife, I have been wrapped up in my own little world lately, unaware of a lot of things and to be honest, just being plain selfish. I get home from work and I am tired, the kids are tired, we are all going through the motions of life, just living.

Why me Lord?

I don't deserve it at all. I feel so weak and so undeserving. Yet I can feel Him close, in ordinary moments. I feel His nudge, I hear his voice, and yet, I am not listening. My mind is too crowded with noise, I can't sit still, I can't concentrate, my mind wonders to a thousand different places and I start to worry.

Yet, He is persistent.

He is always there. Showing me things, talking to me through simpleness in the middle of my rush. The kids yell in the background and I feel impatient, I want to love them, I want to be a great mum to them, but I feel so helpless, so tired. I feel like hiding away from it all, in quietness, stillness, with no success.

Lord, please help me.

He shows me beauty, love, life. And I am so ungrateful. When my children are being loud, I should be thankful that they are healthy. They are God's gift to me and Jason, and God made them perfect. They are beautiful, full of life, they love me unconditionally just like He does.
My spirit is crushed because I fail and fail everyday, I let them down, I let my husband down, I let myself down but most of all, I let Him down. I can't see what is right in front of me.

But He is not giving up on me.

The beauty of God is that he takes us as we are. He is taking me, undeserving, selfish, impatient, tired - me. He is wrapping me in His arms telling me it's going to be okay, telling me to keep trying, telling me He is with me all the time.

And all is left is for me to keep pressing forward, failing, getting back up and trying again. Because through Him, I can.


Every Monday, I am posting TEN things I am grateful for. I am following her idea.

I am starting my list today. Will you join me?

1. Above all, God for choosing me and not giving up n me.
2. My husband for loving me everyday and putting up with me.
3. Allyah for being such a wonderful daughter, so intelligent and loving.
4. Isabella for being busy, loud, loving, caring, the dreamer, singer that she is.
5. Elijah my only son, my baby boy, loving, truck and motorbike lover.
6. My church for giving us a place place we call home
7. Family all my extended family that have been there for me during various situations in my life.
8. My parents for raising me to become who I am today.
9. The country I have lived for the last 8 years.
10. The roof over my head, because many people don't even have that.

I am truly blessed.

Frustrated!!

I am so fustrated with the whole immigration process. I am so thankful that things are moving fast(ish) but not as fast as I would like. It seems like every corner we turn, we have a new wall to climb. It's so frustrating.

Immigration got the report that the oncolist wrote. When I had that appointment, I also had to do a blood test, but the results were going to take 2-3 weeks to come back. The Oncologist was positive the results were going to come back clear and she was going to say so on the report.

Now, doctor Jenner from Wellington wants to wait for those results, 2-3 weeks! Arrgghhh I am feeling kinda down today, I really don't want to have to re-book our tickets. I really dont want to have to be away from my husband for longer than what we already have to. Not to mention, Jason rang immigration yesterday and they told him my residency would "probably come back in July, and I would need to be issued with a tourist visa, and when my residency comes through, travel back to New Zealand to get it??? Grrr.... so not right!!

So yeah, I am not really sure what to do now. Poor Jason spends his breaks on the phone trying to sort this thing out. He is making endless phone calls trying to get people to move a little bit faster....

In my frustration, I am trying really hard to give it all to God and not worry about it. It's so hard to let go of my worries and just trust in Him. I know God is with us through every step of the process and I have to rest in this assurance - and I suppose I just answered my own despair call. I have to trust in God and His plans for this part of the journey. But it's not easy!

I am just really having a 'what am I going to do' day.

So please, dear Lord, help us. Open the doors that need to be opened for a smooth process. I feel so powerless and frustrated today. Please give me your peace in my heart and the assurance that things will be fine, no matter what.

Overtired and Overworked

Elijah has been waking up around 5am everyday this week. All of a sudden he decided that 5am was a good time to wake up - leaving me to deal with it.

I dont usually wake up until 6.10am - at least that's when my alarm is set to. But who needs an alarm clock when you have Elijah all chatty beside you asking questions about how old the trees are or how come it's still dark when it's morning time? As cute as it sounds now, trust me, at 5am, it's not that cute. And you know, when you are awake anyways and trying really hard to doze off, throw a child vomiting in the middle - perfect start to my morning!

What can I say, it's going to be a long day.

So I get to work and I am put in charge of a huge spreadsheet that has over 2000 clients with wrong addresses - so of course, I need to find a way to find their new address. Time consuming and boring job - my eyes cannot focus on the screen anymore.

I always vow to myself that I am going to bed early, but it never happens. So I am in a constant tired motion and I can't seem to get rid of it. I suppose it comes with the territory.

Oncology Appointment

Today I had my oncology appointment and it could not have gone any better!

Carolyn (Jason's mum) drove me to Palmerston North and the fog was so thick we could not see what was in front of us! But we got there in the end with time to spare! My appointment was at eleven thirty and we got there at nine thirty. So we went out for a coffee and had a little browse through some shops. Carol got a really nice handbag and a bracelet.

We got to the hospital at about ten thirty - and to my surprise - we got seen straight away, a whole hour before I was supposed to be seen. The oncologist lady was super friendly and so helpful. She told me that from her oncology point of view, I am cured from cancer and she has no concerns whatsoever about my future prognosis. Double yay for that, even though I know I am healthy, there is always a hint of fear when I go see the doctor when it comes to this whole cancer thing - so hearing that was a relief.

And thats exactly what she is going to write on her report to immigration. And she was going to write that report today and get it sent away as soon as report is ready - which I am hoping tomorrow. How great is that?

I was stoked with how the appointment went, so Carol and I went to the mall and had some shopping therapy because we could. Haha. I got five pairs of earrings for $15 and Carol gave me my birthday present early, so I got a real nice dress to wear on our farewell party.

Talking about farewells, Jason leaves in seventeen days. That's so scary.

Enough writing from me today, I have a huge pile of laundry to fold, so I better start. I reckon if anyone invented a laundry folding robot, they would get rich.

God Open Doors!

God sure does open doors.

Remember that appointment immigration asked for, the one with the oncologist that was gonna take weeks for me to get seen?

It is tomorrow!

Tomorrow, at 11.30am in Palmerston North hospital.

Is God good or what?

I see it as a total gift from Him, my doctor had told me to get an oncologist to see me it was going to take four weeks minimum, and it would have to be private as the waiting list for public is months long, which meant at least another $150.

The beauty of this is: I am being seen by the public system and it will cost me nothing!

God sure does open doors. I have no doubts about it.

Cuteness Overload

Reading the header of this post, you might think I am talking about my children. I know they are cute, but this time I am not referring to them!

I am totally inspired by many ladies that are so talented! Their blogs are awesome and their creativity, oh, so inspiring!

I have always been a "hands on" type of girl, I like making things with my hands, anything crafty, count me in! I particularlly like Joy's Hope take on life, how she like cute things around her and her daughters are gorgeous. Her story reaches home, as she lost a baby, Joy, and had a stillbirth like Olivia, Jason's sister. She makes very cute things and I love them all.

But I have been browsing the web tonight and I found SO MANY wonderful sources of inspiration! When we finally move to Australia (which is in about six weeks!), I will have a lot more spare time to tackle my itchiness for cute! I can tell you my new house will probably look like a huge canvas filled with my hand made projects.

If you are insterested in maybe doing something yourself, I have added some links to the right hand side of my blog. Have a look and tell me what you think!

More tests

I had to go to Wellington today to see Dr. Jenner again, to give him a sealed envelope I got from immigration, so he could open it and tell me where to next.

That's exactly what he did. He opened the envelope, read the letter from immigration, told me what they want from me, and charged me $100. Woohoo.

So what do they want from me? Well, they want a current oncology report. To get an oncology report, I will obviously need to see an oncologist. And to see an oncologist, I need to make an appointment and those are not easy to come. Considering we have time restrictions, it is not good news. I went to see my normal doctor today and begged him to help me. He will call me tomorrow to see if he could get me an urgent appointment. Oh if are reading this, please pray. We need all doors opened. And God can open the doors, I have no doubts about it.

Time is flying by now and we're supposed to go next month. I know it's all going to work out in the end, but we don't want to stay away from Jason for too long. Time is really precious now and I wish I could just get this done and dusted, but because that's not an option, we have to go through the motion - no point stressing about it, just gotta pray harder!

Getting creative

I have been feeling really crafty this week and I came accross this:

I am in love!

I have made about ten of them so far! Just need to finished turning them into awesome necklaces!!

Is it just awesome??

Immigration Hiccups

Oh the joys of immigration departments.

When I got married to Jason I never thought I would be having to be filling out endless immigration forms. But being a foreigner, its inevitable, I know a lot of you will relate. Five years ago, I got my New Zealand residency, after one whole year of waiting, of filling out forms, of money spent (a lot of money by the way). I thought I was free from it, until we decided to head over the ditch.

We, in our naive approach, thought it would be a straight forward process - after all I have been living in New Zealand for the last 8 years. We never bothered to get my New Zealand citizenship papers even though I am entitled to it - you know the drill, pay some money, fill out a form, wait six months, go through a cerimony, and voila, NZ citizen. We never thought it was necessary, until now of course.

I am still under my brazilian passport, which is good for nothing really (sorry folks, but it's true) and if I was to carry on living in New Zealand there would be no issues with it. But when we started to look into going to Australia, the immigration process is quite strict, and having New Zealand residency means nothing to them if you are not a New Zealander (some of my non-kiwi friends may not know that New Zealanders can travel to Australia with no visas, no questions, you can live in Australia if you are a New Zealander) - anyways.

We have quite a good number of friends who travelled to Australia and had a hassle free journey when it came to immigration which was very encouraging.

So after looking into it, it was clear we were going to have to pay the big bucks and apply for my Australian residency through Jason, who is an Australian citizen. Nearly $2500 later, plus hours of filling out forms, gathering documents, printing photos and more documents to prove that our relationship is genuine (as if 8 years of marriage and three kids was not enough proof!) we finally send it to immigration in the beginning of March. All was good.

We rang them a couple of times this month to see how things were going, we know that the only possible issue they would have would probably be my health history (having cancer and all). So we were sort of waiting for a request for me to do more tests. But because we are quite time short, we have been ringing them and we were told my papers had been sent to Australia and they were still waiting to hear back. The wait is awful.

So yesterday I rang the immigration once again and apparently they sent me a letter in the beginning of APRIL requesting more tests. I NEVER got that letter and they NEVER told us they had sent it in the numerous times we rang them last month. UGHHH. So four weeks were wasted in the process. That's not good enough considering Jason leaves in four weeks and we have tickets for the 21st June. So I have an appointment on Tuesday in Wellington to see the immigration doctor so he can refer me for more tests, whatever they will be! That means more money being spent, less money saved.

I can truly say I CANNOT wait until this whole thing is done, there is nothing more tedious and frustrating than going through immigration screenings! But I suppose there is no way around it, so if you can say a little prayer for us, it would be much appreciated!

Home

I have been thinking about this for a while now. What makes home YOUR home?

As some of you know, I have been sick this week, which means I have been off work trying to get better (which I am a bit today, just feeling tired now), so I stayed at home for the most part.
My house is pretty messy at the moment and I haven't been doing much housework - just a little bit here and there so I can still not feel guilty about lying down, like dishes, the laundry, maybe a bit of vacuuming.

But right now we're stuck in the middle with this whole packing thing, we have tried packing some boxes, but it is actually harder than I thought to move overseas. About a month ago I went into every room and got rid of unused items, inecessary items and rubbish items. That was a huge task in itself but the problem is, now, four weeks later, the house is full of those things again. I kept asking myself how was that even possible and the only conclusion I came to was: these things must reproduce and have tiny babies while we sleep and they grow real fast and the house gets overpopulated with them. It's just of those things... like missing socks - no matter what you do, you will always have missing socks because the Washing Machine Sock Eating Monster is real.

Anyways, so I still have a lot more packing to do and I better get started otherwise we'll have a lot of things to do last minute. We need to be out of the farm house by the 1st June (new season starts) and we will be moving in with Jason's parents for about three weeks.

But this had been HOME for the last year, almost. Despite its messyness, I know it still is for now, but when I walk down the hall and I can smell the cozyness I get an overwhelming "ahhh I am home" feeling. Do you get that sometimes? It's not everytime. It's like smells that brings up memories type of feelings. I love them, I think they are great, they make me happy, safe, just like when I used to smell the coffee brewing at my grandma's house. The warm fuzzy feeling comes right back everytime I smell coffee.

I am home, this is my castle and things are the way I want them to be here. I know we're only here for another four or so weeks, but the adventure is just beginning. Yeah it sucks to pack, and yeah, it will be a mission to fly with the kids alone, but in the end, I will be going home, won't I? A new home for sure, but HOME is what you make of it, and I am prepared to make our new house, our new home.

Yay, I love the new layout!

I have decided to create this blog so people can keep reading about our adventure as we prepare to move to Australia next month.

After looking for a nice layout, I have to say I fell in love with this one :) Isnt't pretty?

More to come later, I havent quite finished yet.